AMERICA FOR FUN . COM
Fun  &  Interesting  Things  in  America!

VISTING D.C.

Here are some tips for visiting Washington D.C.

1) Buy a METRO pass before you go. Look up Metro DC online and purchase a prepaid pass before you go. You can have that sent to your home. This will allow you to ride the trains in the DC area (and especially into DC). One pass per person; two people cannot use the same pass at the same time. You can always put money on your Metro card at any Metro station. Metro is the ONLY way to visit downtown DC. Don't try to drive. Parking can really cost you!

METRO LINK

If you insist on driving to DC... get there early! 10:00 am on a Saturday or Sunday is LATE! The few spaces go fast!

2) Best bets in DC:

The National Cathedral.

http://www.nationalcathedral.org/

McLean Bible in Northern Virginia (link on right).

http://www.mcleanbible.org/

The SPY museum.

Smithsonian.

 

The National Air & Space Museum in Dulles.

http://www.nasm.si.edu/museum/udvarhazy/

Great Falls National Park. (Closer than you think to DC).

http://www.nps.gov/grfa/

The Watergate hotel. (Just don't spy on any democrats and you won't get into trouble there).

Kennedy Center. Buy tickets online before you go. Don't try to get tickets the day of an event; they are often gone. You can visit the center for free. Take Metro to Foggy Bottom.

http://www.kennedy-center.org/

Georgetown. A must see part of DC. If you visit Kennedy Center you are already nearby.

The Potomac River. Rent a sailboat in VA.

Old Town Alexandria. If you walk King street, you will be walking the same street (with many of the same buildings) that George Washington walked.

Busboys and Poets. A cafe in both VA and DC. Links and directions online.

http://www.busboysandpoets.com/

The National Zoo! Free and fun. See the stork that delivered you on display! The panda's are almost the most famous citizens of D.C.! One of them may announce plans to run for vice president!

http://nationalzoo.si.edu/

Arlington Cemetery. Go early and avoid the crowds.

http://www.arlingtoncemetery.org/

Where to avoid in DC? Driving! Learn Metro before you go. You can get a good lesson online.

3) SEASONS OF DC

1: Spring - Cherry blossoms. A big deal and a must see in DC, though it only lasts for a few days.

2: Christmas. See the state and national Christmas tree displays.

3: Fall colors. The DC, VA, Maryland area turns bright red and orange in the Fall. A must see!

4: DC Fireworks. Once in your life go see the fireworks in downtown DC. It is worth the crowds! You know the date.

Here are some favorites:

CHOCOLATE CUP

Get a your standard cup cake cups. Add Hershey kisses, little peanut butter cups or m&m's. Mix gently and serve. No cooking required. A favorite with everyone.

New Year's Drink: POET'S KISS

Cream soda and Rum. One part rum, 4 parts cream soda. To get fancy, dab the glasses in powdered sugar.


RECIPES

All Recipes

RecipeSource

Martha's

Foodnetwork

Recipe of the week:

Quick toasted cheese: Toast one slice of bread, butter, add slice of cheese and nuke ten seconds. Tastes just like you cooked it in a pan!  Save time - try it!


Steven Robert Heine's Note book

Wadda think? I am considering entering an amateur bull riding contest!  The 1st prize is $50.00 and all the hospital jello you can eat!

STEVE HEINE: the man who gave Frosty the Snowman a one way ticket to Hawaii!


A wooden puppet walks into an employment office and says to the clerk: "Do you have any jobs for ventriloquists?"

The clerk looks around and sees nothing.

The puppet repeats: "Sir, do you have any openings for ventriloquists?"

The desperate clerk looks around again, very worried and confused.

The puppet laughs out loud. "Oh I left him home. He was too lazy to get out of bed and he is not very good anyway!"


A small boy was frantic when he arrived at school. "Teacher my homework ate my dog!  My homework ate my dog!"

Teacher: "Are you trying to tell me that your dog ate your homework?"

Small boy: "No my homework is right here! My dog has not been seen since last night!"


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Football Question:

What is the correct term used when the center hikes the ball over the quarterback's head?

I think the correct term is:

#$!!!%&!!!!

Baseball Question:

What do you call a pitcher who has 10 runs scored on him in a single game?

'A Christmas tree'. Because he gets lit up like one!

That reminds me of my old high school, Hamburger High, (just south of Pee Dee in Polk County). Our receivers couldn't catch a cold! Our quarterback was caught with a pound of butter in his locker! That would explain the fumbles!

We did eventually develop a form of 'flag football'. By about the later 3rd quarter of every game, we would just raise the white flag and end the game!


"The Roman Empire fell not because of the invasion of barbarians; the Roman Empire fell simply because the Romans ate too many french fries!"  srh.

I have often eaten at the roadside stands that sell Mexican food in Salem. The food was good but I wondered about eating there. But with the price of gas rising, it seems a very good way to gas up for a trip.

Wadda think? I am considering entering an amateur bull riding contest!  The 1st prize is $50.00 and all the hospital jello you can eat!

Congress recently voted to extend daylight savings time. Has anyone told them that if you add more hours at night you have to take away some in the morning?

It's like thinking you earned $100.00 because you took it away from yourself and gave it back!

Daylight savings time is just plain silly! It was only invented for the farmers and I cannot imagine a farmer telling his rooster that he has to crow one hour earlier!

Can you imagine how hard people will laugh at us in 500 years when they read that we had daylight savings time? 'They what?' ha ha ha!

******************************

Can you imagine how hard people will laugh at us in 500 years when they read that we had daylight savings time? 'They what?' ha ha ha!

Editor's note: I have only been bucked off a horse 5 times in my life and stepped on once. It was fun but I think you should leave it to the pro's. srh.


 

I fixed my friend Mike up on a blind date last week. 'How did it go?' I asked him after. 'Terrible!'  he moaned, 'first she told me I was UGLY, then her seeing eye dog bit me!'

Does the town of Rickreal in Polk County have a pancake feed EVERY Saturday or does it just seem like it? And how many pancakes ARE there in Rickreal?

q: What did the sailor say after living in Nebraska for ten years?

a: 'long time, no sea!'

After a recent surgery on my sinuses, I lost my sense of smell. I got to be the first in many patients to do so and should have felt honored. A friend comforted me though, she wrote: 'I am sorry you lost your sense!'. (No, that actually happened years ago!).


BREAKING NEWS!

Steven Robert Heine has NOT been nominated for the US Supreme Court. In a private statement Heine issued from his Pee Dee Oregon home Heine said, (quote) "Oh well." He also inferred repeated sighs of disappointment.

Earlier Heine had told friends, "I know what's wrong with the US Supreme Court, they keep appointing lawyers to it. You get nine lawyers together and you ain't going to get nothing but trouble.

PA KETTLE weighs in on the US Supreme Court: "I would nominate either a chicken farmer or a fine representative of the hill country, like myself. That way if anyone squawks we can handle it. And I'll bet there ain't one member of the current group that can spit a watermellon seed farthar than I can!"

BREAKING NEWS!

Poet Steven Robert Heine has denied rumors that he will run as vice president in 2008 on the Demilican ticket headed by Paw Kettle.

Heine was found flipping hotcakes in PeeDee Oregon when reporters questioned him. His response to the question of 'would he run?' was simply: 'Nope!'

BREAKING NEWS!

UPDATE! PA KETTLE ACCEPTS NOMINATION! His platform for the Demlican Party is simple: 'This party must party!'

We are runnin' PA KETTLE for PRESIDENT of the United States in 2008!

Party: Demlican

Slogan: lets have supper right after we finish lunch!

Pa WAS nominated at a howdown at Feeney's barn on Saturday. A hayride wa planned but cancelled when the wagon hit a rut. We ate chicken and watermellon and nominated a real  turkey!

Security was provided by two sheep dogs and old man Weathers!

Here are some excerpts from recent speeches by Pa:

"If you don't get off your duff and take the dog out, you will suffer the consequences."

"Just give me some duct tape, some wire and my hammer... and I will repair your computer... cheap!"

"Just give me some duct tape, some wire and my hammer... and I will repair THE NATIONAL BUDGET... cheap!"

"If your hat don't fit your head no more maybe you been thinking too hard."

"I don't know much about the National budget but I aim to tinker with it."

"When you see the White house after me and Ma have lived there a while, you will know you have voted for the right man!"

"If we're going to fix what's wrong with America we are going to need a lot of duct tape".

"I will save the country money... when the Presidential jet breaks down I will fix it myself!"

"Me and Maw are going to paint the white house another color. Maybe kind of a harvest color...I got some paint out back that should do just fine!"

"I was not born in a log cabin... I was born in a shed NEXT to a log cabin!"

 


STEVEN ROBERT HEINE is one of America's most widely read poets. He is the author of nine volumes of poetry and his work is taught in schools all over the World.

Steven Robert Heine Official  Site Many poems and information about the poet.


POEMS by STEVEN ROBERT HEINE

DREAMER

Look far away

for a little while,

and tell me the dreams

that you see.

From the fountain of love

that flows from your heart,

great things will soon come to be.

© copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine.

AMERICA

In Humbletown a flag still flies.

Floating proudly in the breeze.

 

And down below the farm folk toil

in fields that roll like lush green seas.

 

A builders hammer pounds the air,

as a church is raised from virgin wood.

 

Three children play, not far away

in a park built where a shack had stood.

 

An old man looks out from his porch

exclaiming with a heavy sigh:

 

"America, America

long may your proud flag fly."

 

© copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine

A REQUEST

You cannot see

the silver seeds,

my restless soul hunts after.

But hold me now,

inspire me

with love and pain and laughter.

© copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine.

OASIS

You were first

to fill my glass.

 

Sparkling love

you freely shared.

 

Thousands passed

my wretched way.

 

But none till you,

reached down and cared.

© copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine

SUNSHINE

 

You are in my heart

and there to stay.

Like the sunshine

you warm me,

in a special way.

© copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine

OUR FAVORITE LINKS! (Some of these may be under construction, check back soon).

America For Fun. com

Oregon For Fun. com

Florida For Fun. com

California For Fun. com

Hawaii For Fun. com

Arizona For Fun. com

Nevada For Fun. com

Washington For Fun. com


Focus on the Family

Billy Graham

Steven Robert Heine Official  Site Many poems and information about the poet.

California Poetry dot com

New York Poetry Dot Com

Oregon Poetry.Com

Washington Poetry dot com

Oregon For Fun.com This site features travel information on Oregon and fun things to do.


Quote: "In eternity we are young!" srh

Quote: "You can't blame a poor man for trying!" srh

"The only sport I like is the one played with a funny shaped ball!" srh.

Quote: "Humility is strength. Arrogance is weakness." srh

I used to worry about a lot more things. Now I figure that 'if my socks match I'm having a good day!'

 


AMERICA IS AT WAR!  Please pray for the safety of our troops! "Dear God, please protect our soldiers this day and bring them home safely soon."

 

OK - It's WORLD SERIES TIME!

When else can you watch a summer sport played in a snowstorm?

DO YOU REALIZE THAT DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME MAY TURN OUT TO BE THE GREATEST PRACTICAL JOKE IN HISTORY?

THINGS TO DO THIS WEEKEND:

Go watch your college team play a game!

Steven Robert Heine is one of America's best known poets and writers. This is his travel blog for America.

 

 IDIOT RULES OF SPORTS

You know the rules of major sports. Now we present the IDIOT'S RULES for playing those sports!

1) IDIOT FOOTBALL: Play normal rules. At the end of the game; regardless of the score, flip a coin to see who wins!

2) IDIOT BASKETBALL: The team with the most tattoos on all players wins! No other score keeping!

3) IDIOT BASEBALL: Intentionally walk ALL batters. Team with most runs at the end of the game wins!

4) IDIOT HOCKEY: All normal rules apply!

5) IDIOT SOCCER: You cannot touch the ball with your hands or feet or head. Every other part is fair game!

6) IDIOT GOLF: Most balls hit into any lake in a 4 hour period wins!

7) IDIOT BOXING: The pitcher hits the batter with the baseball and then the dug outs empty in a wild brawl!

Traveling across America:

I have now crossed the United States 18 times, including twice by bus and car. Here are some tips:

1) Don't ever drive at night!

2) Have more than one set of directions and always a backup plan. I use a GPS and maps.

3) ALWAYS pay attention to weather! Check it online. It can be dangerous ANYWHERE in the U.S.

4) Make time for side trips. There are many places that come up as you travel across America that you may not want to miss.

5) Invest in maintenance of you car before you leave!

6) Book early for flights or hotels.

7) Travel light. Excess stuff cost money to transport any way you travel!

8) PLAN! PLAN! PLAN! and then be flexible!

9) Find out when the crowds will be there and go a different time! You get better service with less stress!


US State Department Info for Travelers

Attend a Church in the City you Visit! Click.

Click on this link for an address. It will give you a good sample of that part of America and you can meet the people of an area.

WebMD

American Red Cross

The Salvation Army

Steven Robert Heine Official  Site

Oregon For Fun. com

Ratio of single men to single women, by county


D.C. AREA CHURCHES. Click any link!

D.C. Christ Church on Embassy Row

Alexandria - First Assembly

Alexandria - Faith Fellowship

Alexandria - Harvest Church

Springfield - Word of Life

Fairfax - Way of Faith

Fairfax - Centerpointe Church

McLean - McLean Bible Church

Vienna Assembly of God

Camp Springs MD - Evangel Assembly

Clinton MD Christian Assembly

Frederick MD - Calvary Assembly

Germantown MD - Potomac Assembly

La Plata MD - Calvary Grace

Rockville MD Assembly of God

Silver Spring MD - Christ Fellowship

Silver Spring MD - First Assembly

YOU ARE INVITED TO VISIT ANY OF THE CHURCHES LISTED ABOVE!


I like Spring time, except for all the singing

 that the local cats do!


 

 


WHAT WAS THE GREATEST INVENTION IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE?

I think it was the DONUT. I see early caveman sitting eating a donut, maybe rolling it on the counter of the local cave cafe, thinking 'this gives me an idea; maybe I should invent 'the wheel today'

Here are my top TEN all time great inventions:

1) The donut. 

2) The chocolate anything. Chocolate is proof that God exists. The taste bud was designed for the cocoa bean.

3) Vanilla stuff. What a wonderful bean!

4) Home made beer. Ok so some is better than others. But a friend that makes beer is a friend indeed.

5) Eggnog.  They have to pick the little eggnogs when they are just ripe on the vine for best flavor. (Just kidding).

6) Barbequed steaks. Even cave man could cook them to perfection. Modern cave man adds sauce and throws down a beer with his.

7) Shrimp dip. Shrimp dip used to be my whole dinner. The perfect shrimp dip is an art. Add the choice potato chip and you are set!

8) The atomic fire ball! An invention not for the timid but a great treat until your tongue burns off!

9) The cinnamon roll! When I got my divorce I cried; she made such great cinnamon rolls!

10) Coffee. Is it really a bean? I am not human until I have had at least 5 cups!

Honorable mention:

Tiny pickles. They crunch and then melt in your mouth, giving their all every time.

Ok the greatest inventions on my list were all food! History is surprising after all!


NEW COMIC STRIP!

Steve Highknee superhero battles his arch enemy, 'the dryer that eats socks!'

In this episode, Highknee is desperately trying to match his socks after having been attacked by that dryer. The dryer laughs in the distance...It is a sinister laugh, that sends chills down his spine.

Highknee has only one superpower. He can see a donut even behind a steel wall. "What good will that do me?" he asked desperately.... to be continued.

The dryer continues its reign of terror, taking only one of each of Heine's favorite socks. As Heine shivers in fear, he suddenly looks up to the heavens and spots a donut on the ceiling of the laundry room! It does not matter HOW it got there. Somehow he must use it to turn this dryer from evil to good... once and for all!


Our Favorite Web Cams:

These cams are rated 'G' but we don't have much control over what they show!  Cams may load slowly, so be patient. We will add new ones from time to time, so check back.

Florida Beach Cams

Niagara Falls Cams

Lake Tahoe Cam

California Beach Cam

Oregon Beach Cams

PORT ORFORD, Oregon Cam

Bandon Webcams - Jetty cam

Webcams - California, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, Washington, Hawaii, Alaska

View from Satellite

Elton John sang about it 'being lonely out in space'. Log into the above cams and judge for yourself!


OTHER GREAT LINKS!

Federal Publications - Many Free!

timeanddate.com Great for Travelers.

Online Slang Dictionary - Welcome

Mark Twain Museum

HowstuffworksOLD TIME CHURCH HYMNS

PRO RODEO HALL OF FAME.

Richard and Karen Carpenter . com


FAVORITE LINKS!

Mark Twain Museum

OLD TIME CHURCH HYMNS

Online Slang Dictionary - Welcome

Dollywood

Focus on the Family

Billy Graham

STREETS OF GOLD!


Today's Brain Teaser: Why do people talking on cell phones use hand gestures? (We don't know. We were just wondering...)

Here's to the kid on Fisher Rd in Salem Oregon who managed to throw his tennis shoes up on the telephone line... 'Was there a point to that or was it just a challenge? And did  your feet hurt on the way home? How DID you explain that one?'

Heine's Law: you can always find me in a church. I sit just in front of the person with the bad cold and cough. No matter WHERE I sit that person is kind enough to sit right behind me!

I fixed my friend Mike up on a blind date last week. 'How did it go?' I asked him after. 'Terrible!'  he moaned, 'first she told me I was UGLY, then her seeing eye dog bit me!'

Does the town of Rickreal in Polk County Oregon have a pancake feed EVERY Saturday or does it just seem like it? And how many pancakes ARE there in Rickreal?

q: What did the sailor say after living in Nebraska for ten years?

a: 'long time, no sea!'


 

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John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"

“Keep me safe, O God, for in you I take refuge. I said to the Lord, 'You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.'” —Psalm 16:1-2

Romans 8:28 "and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and who are the called according to His purpose".

Psalms 37  "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart."


"I come from a long line of people who stood in long lines!" Steven Robert Heine.

My list of 'least favorite things:

1) Little tiny dogs that never stop barking!

2) I really like birds. But I don't like when they don't control themselves near my car. No creature should do that to a friend!

3) I don't like being 50. I think I will go back to being 20 next year!

4) Stress de jour! Stress is a wonderful thing. It can shut down all your body functions. Who could NOT like it?

5) I love fish but I do worry about what they eat.

6) I don't like professional basketball players when they attack!

7) I don't like DUST. I think it should be outlawed!

8) I don't like people who make coffee that tastes like dishwater. I like to drink my dishwater straight!

9) I don't like train engineers who blast their horns at 3:00 am. The train engineers should be asleep at 3:00 am. And should the whole town be made to know they they are not?

10) I don't like people who put pictures of their dogs on their dating profiles. Some people might not want to be a 'third wheel in the relationship; the dog coming second or first.' I like dogs but they are not more important than people!

11) I don't like people who 'don't like beef'. After all why not shorten the food chain and just eat a plate of grass?

12) I don't like 'all-you-can-eat' places. It's great to eat 4 times more food than your body needs, but you may have to carry it around with you for some years to come.


ANTIQUE POWER LAND worth a look!

Antique Power Land is located just west of the freeway exit in Brooks. Your $2.00 admission will get you a look at many of the machines that built Oregon. I like to think about the lives that were spent at these old machines. Many a days work, now at rest forever. You'll also find a trolley that you can ride and a tiny 1/4 scale (I think) railroad. Enjoy them both!

While driving through Dayton Oregon, I saw a raccoon that 'had failed to successfully cross the street'. I thought about that raccoon, good looking, confident out on his nightly stroll. When suddenly he found himself in a very unflattering position. That raccoon was a lot like me. I thought I was going on my way, almost across the street in life. But now I am starting over. I looked at that raccoon and tried to learn from his misfortune.  srh.