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HAPPY NEW
YEAR! (or as they say in China, 'Happy Noodle Year'!) Here are some favorites: CHOCOLATE CUP Get a your standard cup cake cups. Add Hershey kisses, little peanut butter cups or m&m's. Mix gently and serve. No cooking required. A favorite with everyone. New Year's Drink: POET'S KISS Cream soda and Rum. One part rum, 4 parts cream soda. To get fancy, dab the glasses in powdered sugar. RECIPES Recipe of the week: Quick toasted cheese: Toast one slice of bread, butter, add slice of cheese and nuke ten seconds. Tastes just like you cooked it in a pan! Save time - try it! Steven Robert Heine's Note book My Moment in the Spotlight! All my life I had dreamed of being before the bright lights and the center of attention. Yesterday I got my wish. Unfortunately it was in a operating room at the Salem Hospital! srh Wadda think? I am considering entering an amateur bull riding contest! The 1st prize is $50.00 and all the hospital jello you can eat! STEVE HEINE: the man who gave Frosty the Snowman a one way ticket to Hawaii! A wooden puppet walks into an employment office and says to the clerk: "Do you have any jobs for ventriloquists?" The clerk looks around and sees nothing. The puppet repeats: "Sir, do you have any openings for ventriloquists?" The desperate clerk looks around again, very worried and confused. The puppet laughs out loud. "Oh I left him home. He was too lazy to get out of bed and he is not very good anyway!" A small boy was frantic when he arrived at school. "Teacher my homework ate my dog! My homework ate my dog!" Teacher: "Are you trying to tell me that your dog ate your homework?" Small boy: "No my homework is right here! My dog has not been seen since last night!" UNCLAIMED PROPERTY: We are just beginning this project - check back soon! Click your link to check! CALIFORNIA UNCLAIMED PROPERTY SEARCH OREGON STATE LANDS - UNCLAIMED PROPERTY! South Carolina Unclaimed Property Football Question: What is the correct term used when the center hikes the ball over the quarterback's head? I think the correct term is: #$!!!%&!!!! That reminds me of my old high school, Hamburger High, (just south of Pee Dee in Polk County). Our receivers couldn't catch a cold! Our quarterback was caught with a pound of butter in his locker! That would explain the fumbles! We did eventually develop a form of 'flag football'. By about the later 3rd quarter of every game, we would just raise the white flag and end the game! "The Roman Empire fell not because of the invasion of barbarians; the Roman Empire fell simply because the Romans ate too many french fries!" srh. I have often eaten at the roadside stands that sell Mexican food in Salem. The food was good but I wondered about eating there. But with the price of gas rising, it seems a very good way to gas up for a trip. Wadda think? I am considering entering an amateur bull riding contest! The 1st prize is $50.00 and all the hospital jello you can eat! Congress recently voted to extend daylight savings time. Has anyone told them that if you add more hours at night you have to take away some in the morning? It's like thinking you earned $100.00 because you took it away from yourself and gave it back! Daylight savings time is just plain silly! It was only invented for the farmers and I cannot imagine a farmer telling his rooster that he has to crow one hour earlier! Can you imagine how hard people will laugh at us in 500 years when they read that we had daylight savings time? 'They what?' ha ha ha! ****************************** BREAKING NEWS! Steven Robert Heine has NOT been nominated for the US Supreme Court. In a private statement Heine issued from his Pee Dee Oregon home Heine said, (quote) "Oh well." He also inferred repeated sighs of disappointment. Earlier Heine had told friends, "I know what's wrong with the U.S. Supreme Court, they keep appointing lawyers to it. You get nine lawyers together and you ain't going to get nothing but trouble. Can you imagine how hard people will laugh at us in 500 years when they read that we had daylight savings time? 'They what?' ha ha ha! Editor's note: I have only been bucked off a horse 5 times in my life and stepped on once. It was fun but I think you should leave it to the pro's. srh.
I fixed my friend Mike up on a blind date last week. 'How did it go?' I asked him after. 'Terrible!' he moaned, 'first she told me I was UGLY, then her seeing eye dog bit me!' Does the town of Rickreal in Polk County have a pancake feed EVERY Saturday or does it just seem like it? And how many pancakes ARE there in Rickreal? q: What did the sailor say after living in Nebraska for ten years? a: 'long time, no sea!' After a recent surgery on my sinuses, I lost my sense of smell. I got to be the first in many patients to do so and should have felt honored. A friend comforted me though, she wrote: 'I am sorry you lost your sense!'. (No, that actually happened years ago!). BREAKING NEWS! Steven Robert Heine has NOT been nominated for the US Supreme Court. In a private statement Heine issued from his Pee Dee Oregon home Heine said, (quote) "Oh well." He also inferred repeated sighs of disappointment. Earlier Heine had told friends, "I know what's wrong with the US Supreme Court, they keep appointing lawyers to it. You get nine lawyers together and you ain't going to get nothing but trouble. PA KETTLE weighs in on the US Supreme Court: "I would nominate either a chicken farmer or a fine representative of the hill country, like myself. That way if anyone squawks we can handle it. And I'll bet there ain't one member of the current group that can spit a watermellon seed farthar than I can!" BREAKING NEWS! Poet Steven Robert Heine has denied rumors that he will run as vice president in 2008 on the Demilican ticket headed by Paw Kettle. Heine was found flipping hotcakes in PeeDee Oregon when reporters questioned him. His response to the question of 'would he run?' was simply: 'Nope!' BREAKING NEWS! UPDATE! PA KETTLE ACCEPTS NOMINATION! His platform for the Demlican Party is simple: 'This party must party!' We are runnin' PA KETTLE for PRESIDENT of the United States in 2008! Party: Demlican Slogan: lets have supper right after we finish lunch! Pa WAS nominated at a howdown at Feeney's barn on Saturday. A hayride wa planned but cancelled when the wagon hit a rut. We ate chicken and watermellon and nominated a real turkey! Security was provided by two sheep dogs and old man Weathers! Here are some excerpts from recent speeches by Pa: "If you don't get off your duff and take the dog out, you will suffer the consequences." "Just give me some duct tape, some wire and my hammer... and I will repair your computer... cheap!" "Just give me some duct tape, some wire and my hammer... and I will repair THE NATIONAL BUDGET... cheap!" "If your hat don't fit your head no more maybe you been thinking too hard." "I don't know much about the National budget but I aim to tinker with it." "When you see the White house after me and Ma have lived there a while, you will know you have voted for the right man!" "If we're going to fix what's wrong with America we are going to need a lot of duct tape". "I will save the country money... when the Presidential jet breaks down I will fix it myself!" "Me and Maw are going to paint the white house another color. Maybe kind of a harvest color...I got some paint out back that should do just fine!" "I was not born in a log cabin... I was born in a shed NEXT to a log cabin!"
STEVEN ROBERT HEINE is one of America's most widely read poets. He is the author of nine volumes of poetry and his work is taught in schools all over the World. Steven Robert Heine Official Site Many poems and information about the poet. POEMS by STEVEN ROBERT HEINE DREAMER Look far away for a little while, and tell me the dreams that you see. From the fountain of love that flows from your heart, great things will soon come to be. © copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine. AMERICA In Humbletown a flag still flies. Floating proudly in the breeze.
And down below the farm folk toil in fields that roll like lush green seas.
A builders hammer pounds the air, as a church is raised from virgin wood.
Three children play, not far away in a park built where a shack had stood.
An old man looks out from his porch exclaiming with a heavy sigh:
"America, America long may your proud flag fly."
© copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine A REQUEST You cannot see the silver seeds, my restless soul hunts after. But hold me now, inspire me with love and pain and laughter. © copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine. OASIS You were first to fill my glass.
Sparkling love you freely shared.
Thousands passed my wretched way.
But none till you, reached down and cared. © copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine SUNSHINE
You are in my heart and there to stay. Like the sunshine you warm me, in a special way. © copyright 2003 by Steven Robert Heine OUR FAVORITE LINKS! (Some of these may be under construction, check back soon). Steven Robert Heine Official Site Many poems and information about the poet. Oregon For Fun.com This site features travel information on Oregon and fun things to do. Quote: "In eternity we are young!" srh Quote: "You can't blame a poor man for trying!" srh "The only sport I like is the one played with a funny shaped ball!" srh. Quote: "Humility is strength. Arrogance is weakness." srh I used to worry about a lot more things. Now I figure that 'if my socks match I'm having a good day!'
AMERICA IS AT WAR! Please pray for the safety of our troops! "Dear God, please protect our soldiers this day and bring them home safely soon."
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Steven Robert Heine Official Site Ratio of single men to single women, by county Why be a Republican OR a Democrat when you can be a DEMLICAN? 'We are the party that loves to party!'
STEVE HEINE: the man who gave Frosty the Snowman a one way ticket to Hawaii! I like Spring time, except for all the singing that the local cats do! BUY A LINK! Why not buy a link for your site or your business on one of the most popular poetry sites in the state! Click link to purchase! $30.00 for 1 year. Try it, you'll like it! Directions: purchase link above then mail it to: Native Publishing Company, PO Box 7574 Salem OR 97303 or e-mail to: SEND LINK by e-mail. Classifieds: books
BEYOND THE FRONTIER - collected poems of Steven Robert Heine. Autographed 1st edition, hardbound. $29.99. To: Native Publishing Company, PO BOX 7574 Salem, OR 97303 shipping paid in US or Canada. Add $10.00 other countries.
AUTUMN MAGIC - 50 poems by Steven Robert Heine. Autographed 1st edition, paperback. $9.99. To: Native Publishing Company, PO BOX 7574 Salem, OR 97303. shipping paid in US or Canada. Add $6.00 other countries. ================================= WRITERS FOR HIRE!
PROFESSIONAL WRITER: resumes, press releases, articles, advertising copy, books, publications. Fees by project. Send e-mail describing your project and I will send you a free estimate. Steven Robert Heine. - 9 books - nearly 30 years in publishing. Or submit request to: Steve Heine, PO BOX 7574 Salem Oregon, 97303.
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======================================== Classifieds are $24.99 for up to 50 words, 3 months. Send payment and copy to: NATIVE PUBLISHING COMPANY, PO BOX 7574 SALEM, OR 97303.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx SPECIAL OFFER FOR SCHOOLS and LIBRARIES.:
Free POETRY books by: Steven Robert Heine. Please send a written request to: Steve Heine, PO BOX 7574 Salem, OR 97303. This is a limited offer. We will review requests and send as many poetry books as we are able. Books are both hardbound and paperback. Not all requests can be filled. WHAT WAS THE GREATEST INVENTION IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE? I think it was the DONUT. I see early caveman sitting eating a donut, maybe rolling it on the counter of the local cave cafe, thinking 'this gives me an idea; maybe I should invent 'the wheel today' Here are my top TEN all time great inventions: 1) The donut. 2) The chocolate anything. Chocolate is proof that God exists. The taste bud was designed for the cocoa bean. 3) Vanilla stuff. What a wonderful bean! 4) Home made beer. Ok so some is better than others. But a friend that makes beer is a friend indeed. 5) Eggnog. They have to pick the little eggnogs when they are just ripe on the vine for best flavor. (Just kidding). 6) Barbequed steaks. Even cave man could cook them to perfection. Modern cave man adds sauce and throws down a beer with his. 7) Shrimp dip. Shrimp dip used to be my whole dinner. The perfect shrimp dip is an art. Add the choice potato chip and you are set! 8) The atomic fire ball! An invention not for the timid but a great treat until your tongue burns off! 9) The cinnamon roll! When I got my divorce I cried; she made such great cinnamon rolls! 10) Coffee. Is it really a bean? I am not human until I have had at least 5 cups! Honorable mention: Tiny pickles. They crunch and then melt in your mouth, giving their all every time. Ok the greatest inventions on my list were all food! History is surprising after all! NEW COMIC STRIP! Steve Highknee superhero battles his arch enemy, 'the dryer that eats socks!' In this episode, Highknee is desperately trying to match his socks after having been attacked by that dryer. The dryer laughs in the distance...It is a sinister laugh, that sends chills down his spine. Highknee has only one superpower. He can see a donut even behind a steel wall. "What good will that do me?" he asked desperately.... to be continued. The dryer continues its reign of terror, taking only one of each of Heine's favorite socks. As Heine shivers in fear, he suddenly looks up to the heavens and spots a donut on the ceiling of the laundry room! It does not matter HOW it got there. Somehow he must use it to turn this dryer from evil to good... once and for all! Our Favorite Web Cams: These cams are rated 'G' but we don't have much control over what they show! Cams may load slowly, so be patient. We will add new ones from time to time, so check back. Webcams - California, San Francisco, Los Angeles, Seattle, Washington, Hawaii, Alaska Elton John sang about it 'being lonely out in space'. Log into the above cams and judge for yourself! OTHER GREAT LINKS! Federal Publications - Many Free! timeanddate.com Great for Travelers. Online Slang Dictionary - Welcome Richard and Karen Carpenter . com LETTER FROM SANTA! ONLY $19.99 Proceeds support this site. Written to your child by Steven Robert Heine, a collectors item to be treasured for years to come. Limited number available. Send to: Native Publishing Company, PO BOX 7574 Salem, OR 97303. FAVORITE LINKS! Online Slang Dictionary - Welcome Today's Brain Teaser: Why do people talking on cell phones use hand gestures? (We don't know. We were just wondering...) Here's to the kid on Fisher Rd in Salem Oregon who managed to throw his tennis shoes up on the telephone line... 'Was there a point to that or was it just a challenge? And did your feet hurt on the way home? How DID you explain that one?' Heine's Law: you can always find me in a church. I sit just in front of the person with the bad cold and cough. No matter WHERE I sit that person is kind enough to sit right behind me! I fixed my friend Mike up on a blind date last week. 'How did it go?' I asked him after. 'Terrible!' he moaned, 'first she told me I was UGLY, then her seeing eye dog bit me!' Does the town of Rickreal in Polk County Oregon have a pancake feed EVERY Saturday or does it just seem like it? And how many pancakes ARE there in Rickreal? q: What did the sailor say after living in Nebraska for ten years? a: 'long time, no sea!' Click above link! 302 Collected Poems by Steven Robert Heine includes: A WINTER'S HARVEST AUTUMN MAGIC SPRING RAIN OF SUMMERS LOST A SECRET SEASON & Essays on poetry
THE CARPENTER - 60 Poems - paperback. click to order - 14.99 including shipping and handling. PLEASE PARTNER WITH US, we are trying to provide a free online resource for poets and schools. But we do need help in covering our costs. Send your contribution to: Native Publishing Company PO BOX 7574 SALEM, OR 97303
Each contribution will be logged with your name and date and any notes you might want to share with future poets.
Thank you! Check for book specials! It may be the best deal you've ever found! Book your next trip and save! Catalog of wines! Gift baskets and flowers for all occasions. Send Flowers and gifts! John 3:16 "For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life"
“Keep me safe, O
God, for in you I
take refuge. I said
to the Lord, 'You
are my Lord; apart
from you I have no
good thing.'”
Romans 8:28 "and we know that all things work together for good to them that love God and who are the called according to His purpose". Psalms 37 "Delight yourself in the Lord and He shall give you the desires of your heart." "I come from a long line of people who stood in long lines!" Steven Robert Heine. My list of 'least favorite things: 1) Little tiny dogs that never stop barking! 2) I really like birds. But I don't like when they don't control themselves near my car. No creature should do that to a friend! 3) I don't like being 50. I think I will go back to being 20 next year! 4) Stress de jour! Stress is a wonderful thing. It can shut down all your body functions. Who could NOT like it? 5) I love fish but I do worry about what they eat. 6) I don't like professional basketball players when they attack! 7) I don't like DUST. I think it should be outlawed! 8) I don't like people who make coffee that tastes like dishwater. I like to drink my dishwater straight! 9) I don't like train engineers who blast their horns at 3:00 am. The train engineers should be asleep at 3:00 am. And should the whole town be made to know they they are not? 10) I don't like people who put pictures of their dogs on their dating profiles. Some people might not want to be a 'third wheel in the relationship; the dog coming second or first.' I like dogs but they are not more important than people! 11) I don't like people who 'don't like beef'. After all why not shorten the food chain and just eat a plate of grass? 12) I don't like 'all-you-can-eat' places. It's great to eat 4 times more food than your body needs, but you may have to carry it around with you for some years to come. ANTIQUE POWER LAND worth a look! Antique Power Land is located just west of the freeway exit in Brooks. Your $2.00 admission will get you a look at many of the machines that built Oregon. I like to think about the lives that were spent at these old machines. Many a days work, now at rest forever. You'll also find a trolley that you can ride and a tiny 1/4 scale (I think) railroad. Enjoy them both! While driving through Dayton Oregon, I saw a raccoon that 'had failed to successfully cross the street'. I thought about that raccoon, good looking, confident out on his nightly stroll. When suddenly he found himself in a very unflattering position. That raccoon was a lot like me. I thought I was going on my way, almost across the street in life. But now I am starting over. I looked at that raccoon and tried to learn from his misfortune. srh.
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